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Milktruck74
May 12th, 2017, 11:05 PM
not sure where to put this (admins move if necessary)....I got into a discussion with a friend that played at a FCS level about his son. He didnt feel the boy was getting a fair shot, and probably wasnt. I mentioned my father (13 yrs NFL, all pro, Super Bowl winner) who bit his tongue often watching those that knew far less about the game make "poor decisions"..... my point was I learned far more about respecting authority by watching my pops (I knew he knew....but it wasn't said) thank I ever would have if he would have undermined the staff (even though he had a right too)....Just know there are several parents on here and some very knowlageable ones....Thoughts? trying to look at the game as a life lesson.

FormerPokeCenter
May 13th, 2017, 12:56 AM
Coaching involves a learning curve....so does playing....

So does parenting. How many of us are truly objective about our kids?

There are far more parents trying to live vicariously through their kids than guys like your old man, biting their tongues at stupid coaching....

youcanbankit
May 13th, 2017, 01:51 AM
I think if the kid is of age (college) he should have the conversation with his coach him self. Great life lesson in discussing with the coach. He may not like what he hears though. Also I have seen a lot of kids not shoot straight with their parents on why they are not playing. For example, I have had kids caught drinking or missing practice, late to meetings, cutting class and continue to exhibit poor behavior off the field or on. Others just flat getting beat out in practice. The coach doesn't call their parents when the kid is in college and tell them about these things. He discusses with the kid. Personally, I think in High school or Middle school the parent can and should play a diminishing role with the coaches the older the child gets, but if they know the game and can be completely objective should discuss with the kid first then the coach if needed. In college, not so much. The kid should deal with the situation. If its bad enough, transfer or find other interests. There is more to life than just sports.

Bucs2016
May 13th, 2017, 06:55 AM
not sure where to put this (admins move if necessary)....I got into a discussion with a friend that played at a FCS level about his son. He didnt feel the boy was getting a fair shot, and probably wasnt. I mentioned my father (13 yrs NFL, all pro, Super Bowl winner) who bit his tongue often watching those that knew far less about the game make "poor decisions"..... my point was I learned far more about respecting authority by watching my pops (I knew he knew....but it wasn't said) thank I ever would have if he would have undermined the staff (even though he had a right too)....Just know there are several parents on here and some very knowlageable ones....Thoughts? trying to look at the game as a life lesson.

GREAT discussion topic. I played FCS also and at the time we had a merry go round of coaches.

I used to think I didnt get a "fair shot" as a sophomore and most of my junior year. Then my position coach changed. And as a senior I started and played very well. Now over a decade later I look back and realize...i just wasnt good enough as a sophomore haha. I realized 99% of the time the coaches care only about 2 things: 1. Winning and 2. Finding the next better job (which means do #1). I got bigger, faster & performed better in practice and miraculously my coach treated me more "fair" and started me. However...everyone in D1 FBS or FCS was one of the best players on their HS team. So you show up with 90 other "All Whatever" HS guys competing for 22 starting spots. 68 guys arent gonna like the depth chart.

Now yes sometimes egos get involved. But thats life.

I used to think I wanted to coach. I volunteered 2 seasons at CSU as a bottom of totem pole "gopher" (go for this, go for that endless errand boy). Seeing how college coaching works behind the scenes was an eye opener. SOOOOO much I thought I knew but didnt and didnt even know i didn't know. Wasnt for me! It also made some of those head scratcher coaching decisions make a little more sense. The analytics crap and skewing your tendency numbers in a game so the NEXT weeks opponents scouting numbers are thrown off. Mind numbing and I think overrated at times but all teams staffs do it. Like "WHY did we run a draw on 3rd and 25 down 28-3 in the 4th quarter!!!". Throw off scouting tendencies bc you've lost this game.

The one issue I had was coaches who never played college ball but would be highly confrontational with players and calling them soft or unathletic. Players see through that if you couldnt do it. Be tough. Be demanding. But dont grind your own disappointed athletic career on those who got farther.


But the vast majority of the time FCS coaches will play the guy who gives them the best shot at winning while also followinf team rules and culture, at least enough to justify keeping their talent on the roster.

Laker
May 13th, 2017, 07:03 AM
Coaching involves a learning curve....so does playing....

So does parenting. How many of us are truly objective about our kids?

There are far more parents trying to live vicariously through their kids than guys like your old man, biting their tongues at stupid coaching....

This. I coached and had a long talk with my sister who didn't think that the coach was giving my niece a fair shake in basketball. I pointed out that she played post and really didn't have the height for it. Told her that she could expect to have even less playing time as she got into high school. She switched sports and started in hockey. Meanwhile, her basketball team went to state.

Too many parents just can't see things realistically and do a LaVar Ball.

Bucs2016
May 13th, 2017, 07:05 AM
As for a parent on the outside who has a lot of football experience.....I guess its no different than if your dad is a VP at a Fortune 500 and you land a job at a small tech firm or something and you tell him about their business decisions. Maybe he thinks they arent wise. But is he gonna go into your bosses office and tell him that? I wouldn't.

FBS/FCS football can do one thing VERY VERY well and that is show everyone just how extremely replaceable they are. Unless you're Tim Tebow or Jadeveon Clowney....you're not only replaceable but your coach is texting your replacement as we speak.

Bucs2016
May 13th, 2017, 07:11 AM
This. I coached and had a long talk with my sister who didn't think that the coach was giving my niece a fair shake in basketball. I pointed out that she played post and really didn't have the height for it. Told her that she could expect to have even less playing time as she got into high school. She switched sports and started in hockey. Meanwhile, her basketball team went to state.

Too many parents just can't see things realistically and do a LaVar Ball.

^^^YES^^^

The 2 years I volunteered at CSU we'd have parents come in or call...angry that their son "wont make the NFL" if we dont play him more.

Coaches were like:
1. Sir if your son was an NFL prospect he wouldnt have trouble starting at CSU
2. Ma'am your son wasnt good enough to be offered by Clemson or Georgia, thats why we did, and we love him, but he is not an NFL caliber player.


I was blown away by it. Its like...you are only 1 or 2 years removed from high school where no SEC or Big10 teams thought you were good enough for them. NOW you think the Cowboys or Giants will want you??

I can only imagine how intense this problem is at places like Georgia or Notre Dame.

caribbeanhen
May 13th, 2017, 07:29 AM
great points on this thread and coaches do get it wrong.... a lot ! but agree, nowhere near as much as the parents...

cx500d
May 13th, 2017, 08:06 AM
Was his name Craig James?


not sure where to put this (admins move if necessary)....I got into a discussion with a friend that played at a FCS level about his son. He didnt feel the boy was getting a fair shot, and probably wasnt. I mentioned my father (13 yrs NFL, all pro, Super Bowl winner) who bit his tongue often watching those that knew far less about the game make "poor decisions"..... my point was I learned far more about respecting authority by watching my pops (I knew he knew....but it wasn't said) thank I ever would have if he would have undermined the staff (even though he had a right too)....Just know there are several parents on here and some very knowlageable ones....Thoughts? trying to look at the game as a life lesson.

ASU33
May 13th, 2017, 08:42 AM
My dad was hands off the whole time my brother and I played ball, even though he was probably more knowledgeable about the game than most of the coaches that I've had until college. My dad had pretty much an open invitation into the coaches offices and practices while we were at ASU due to him being one of the greats there, but he maybe attended one practice per year and he was always barely noticeable. The ONLY time my dad even offered to visit the coaches was after the 2006 season that I missed and decided to leave the school as a grad transfer, and even then he told me to go to the coaches and look them in the face like a man first and tell them what you want to do. He said that if needed to get involved he would but he preferred that I handled it.

Catatonic
May 13th, 2017, 08:43 AM
Was his name Craig James?

Well played. Somewhere Mike Leach is laughing.

GodHelpTheBears
May 13th, 2017, 08:58 AM
not sure where to put this (admins move if necessary)....I got into a discussion with a friend that played at a FCS level about his son. He didnt feel the boy was getting a fair shot, and probably wasnt. I mentioned my father (13 yrs NFL, all pro, Super Bowl winner) who bit his tongue often watching those that knew far less about the game make "poor decisions"..... my point was I learned far more about respecting authority by watching my pops (I knew he knew....but it wasn't said) thank I ever would have if he would have undermined the staff (even though he had a right too)....Just know there are several parents on here and some very knowlageable ones....Thoughts? trying to look at the game as a life lesson.

This is a complex topic, but I'll try to distill it. You have to be blunt - if a kid ends up at Missouri State out of high school, there are two things that are true about their decision:

1) They were, with one or two notable exceptions, never going to cut it in FBS. Dylan Cole and Caleb Schaffitzel are notable exceptions because Ozarks HS football is not taken seriously.
2) I hope they value personal success because the team sure as hell won't have any.

My second point can breed what you're talking about, the "good lord this team sucks, they should give me a shot" mentality. Are they better? Who knows. Many of these kids shouldn't be on our roster, they should be at an MIAA program, but that's not their fault. They took the best offer available to them.

ASU33
May 13th, 2017, 09:00 AM
Well played. Somewhere Mike Leach is laughing.


*while wearing a pirate hat

cx500d
May 13th, 2017, 11:48 AM
Say what you will about Mike Leach, he is very entertaining to listen to....He also worked hard to make sure his players graduated. One of the few major coaches never to have played the game...Graduate of Pepperdine Law School.


*while wearing a pirate hat

Daytripper
May 13th, 2017, 01:51 PM
Say what you will about Mike Leach, he is very entertaining to listen to....He also worked hard to make sure his players graduated. One of the few major coaches never to have played the game...Graduate of Pepperdine Law School.

He also wins in difficult places with lesser talent. I love his uniqueness. We need more personalities like him in football.

ASU33
May 13th, 2017, 02:26 PM
Say what you will about Mike Leach, he is very entertaining to listen to....He also worked hard to make sure his players graduated. One of the few major coaches never to have played the game...Graduate of Pepperdine Law School.

Leach is a helluva coach no doubt. I never attempted to make the point that he wasn't.

cx500d
May 13th, 2017, 06:06 PM
Not you;;; one of the posters had a negative comment about coaches who never played the game telling players they were soft as if they shouldn't be allowed to say that to a player....Hell, Mike Leach has made many a man with comments just like that.... Mike Leach reminds me of the Marine Corps Drill Instructor I had....The guy commanded respect, and if you screwed up, had some sort of biting, but witty, come back that would put you in your place, teach you a lesson, and be hard as hell not to crack a smile because deep down those comebacks were funny as hell when you dissected it; god help you if you cracked a smile though.


Leach is a helluva coach no doubt. I never attempted to make the point that he wasn't.

Laker
May 13th, 2017, 06:39 PM
Not you;;; one of the posters had a negative comment about coaches who never played the game telling players they were soft as if they shouldn't be allowed to say that to a player....

I have a little different story to tell. One of my basketball starters was sick, so I had a guy off the bench start against a team that we had already beaten twice. He did OK. Later, his dad, who was the head of the school board, came in to ask why his son didn't stay in the starting lineup because they had won. I told him that the guy he filled in for averaged 18 a game and would later be named all conference. He did the old "well, I played a little bit of basketball so I know" line. I told him that he should plant all corn the next summer. He was confused and asked why I said that. I told him that I grew up on a farm so I know a little bit about that too.

Didn't get my contract renewed after finishing runner up in a twelve team league and winning the baseball title.........but I wouldn't have changed my answer. One year was enough there.

cx500d
May 13th, 2017, 06:42 PM
Nice....


I have a little different story to tell. One of my basketball starters was sick, so I had a guy off the bench start against a team that we had already beaten twice. He did OK. Later, his dad, who was the head of the school board, came in to ask why his son didn't stay in the starting lineup because they had won. I told him that the guy he filled in for averaged 18 a game and would later be named all conference. He did the old "well, I played a little bit of basketball so I know" line. I told him that he should plant all corn the next summer. He was confused and asked why I said that. I told him that I grew up on a farm so I know a little bit about that too.

Didn't get my contract renewed after finishing runner up in a twelve team league and winning the baseball title.........but I wouldn't have changed my answer. One year was enough there.

ngineer
May 13th, 2017, 07:01 PM
Great thread. I grew up with a coach and had the pleasure of playing against him as we lived in a different school district, but within the same league. Even back then, I remember Dad mentioning how parents would complain about their son's playing time. He would ask them what their son thought. They hadn't asked. Every time, the result was the same. The boy said that the kid ahead of him was better. Dad was no nonsense and extremely fair. This was back in the '60's. Today, it is much worse many times over. It's all about "me", and that goes for the parents as much as the kids. The young generation of 'helicopter parents' is sad. Arising from 'everyone gets a trophy' mentality. No one can be allowed to fail. The problem is one learns more from failure than from winning, but parents are afraid to let Johnny fall down. Johnny's success or failure somehow becomes a reflection of them. Every one has to be a star. Being part of a successful team is not enough. In college, I found the opportunity to succeed or fail given to me everyday. The coaches are invested in putting a winning team on the field. Ego's need to be checked at the door, or don't enter.

ngineer
May 13th, 2017, 07:02 PM
I have a little different story to tell. One of my basketball starters was sick, so I had a guy off the bench start against a team that we had already beaten twice. He did OK. Later, his dad, who was the head of the school board, came in to ask why his son didn't stay in the starting lineup because they had won. I told him that the guy he filled in for averaged 18 a game and would later be named all conference. He did the old "well, I played a little bit of basketball so I know" line. I told him that he should plant all corn the next summer. He was confused and asked why I said that. I told him that I grew up on a farm so I know a little bit about that too.

Didn't get my contract renewed after finishing runner up in a twelve team league and winning the baseball title.........but I wouldn't have changed my answer. One year was enough there.

Excellent. Today, you could have said that you "stayed at a Holiday Inn Express"!

BEAR
May 15th, 2017, 09:14 AM
I got a son that is in the 9th grade. I asked the head coach what he was looking for in a player. He replied simply "can he take a hit". I replied, "and get back up and do it again and again and again." I've never seen that coach smile before. I don't imagine his assistants have either.

Parents get ZERO say on where and when the kids play. The head coach told the players "if I'm talking to you, whether its yelling at you for screwing up or praising you for doing something right, then you know I care. If I quit talking to you, then I don't. And if I don't then it's because YOU have checked out on us." His philosophy is the better players the week of practice get to play in the game. Just because you are a senior doesn't mean you will play. Attitudes in practice and on the sideline get you noticed, for good or for bad. Great philosophies in my book.

dgtw
May 16th, 2017, 06:37 PM
My son plays a sport in college. His first year, we got a letter from the head coach. I'm paraphrasing, but he pretty much said he was the boss and he makes the decisions about playing time and is responsible for the coaching. Parents needed to butt out.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

ASU33
May 16th, 2017, 06:43 PM
I've been coaching high school ball for 5 years now and luckily we haven't had to deal with many parents butting in. I can only think of one occasion where we benched a kid due to injury for his own safety and he dad was furious because there were some big time coaches here to see him. The kid ultimately signed with an ACC school and is doing well but our coaching staff is full of guys who played college football, and pro football at various levels so parents trust us to make the best decisions. We also meet with parents on a regular basis to build a relationship with them which also helps.

Bisonoline
May 16th, 2017, 08:37 PM
I've been coaching high school ball for 5 years now and luckily we haven't had to deal with many parents butting in. I can only think of one occasion where we benched a kid due to injury for his own safety and he dad was furious because there were some big time coaches here to see him. The kid ultimately signed with an ACC school and is doing well but our coaching staff is full of guys who played college football, and pro football at various levels so parents trust us to make the best decisions. We also meet with parents on a regular basis to build a relationship with them which also helps.

Thanks for being a coach. For many kids they need a role model and structure. Many of the coaches Ive had through my life had big impacts on my life and I will never forget them.

ASU33
May 16th, 2017, 08:50 PM
Thanks for being a coach. For many kids they need a role model and structure. Many of the coaches Ive had through my life had big impacts on my life and I will never forget them.

Man I enjoy it. I knew that when I got done playing that I wanted to be close to the game and I'm thankful for our head coach for giving me an opportunity. I've had the pleasure of being around some absolute great kids. Over the past 4 years the program has produced 2 Valedictorians and 37 signees. We have one of the best programs here in metro-Atlanta with 15 former Jaguars who have made it to the NFL. Three of those former NFL players/alums are on the current staff right now.