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ALPHAGRIZ1
January 31st, 2012, 11:15 AM
Its 2:17am and my doorbell rings 9 to 11 times in rapid succession my dog goes nuts barking and I go to the front door wondering who is going to get a very severe beating. My wife sister is already there with the door open and there is a guy who now has his arm in the door talking in a very loud voice that he "needs a ride its an emergency". This dude is about 6'2" maybe around 200-215lbs and I kid you not the first thing I thought of when I saw him was this guy. Seriously this dude at my door was 85% of this guy to the T.
http://www.lostvault.com/penpals/images/1510_1.jpg

I told him to get his arm out of my door and I would come outside to talk with him so I pushed him out and onto the front step, locked the door went and got a shirt, shoes and my keys.

I walked outside and saw this guy standing by my truck wearing a very long dark grey trench coat and standing quite aggressively. It reminded me of thishttp://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRXmIlbjOk5kfMdswxg-NEy9RG1lsmZT_h8O7lBx0yUzJAHxiWrnLPYJ_KKuw minus the hockey mask and machete. Still not something you want to deal with at 2am.

This guy goes off on me in either an alcohol or meth induced confluence of syllables about his moms car not working, his friend in the hospital and how he built the Boothill Inn hotel in the heights. (It took a very long time to finish that BTW) He needs a ride its an emergency so I ask him where.......he says "the south side" like I didnt see that coming. I told him I would take him there..........(mostly because I wanted this crazy ***** as far from my family as possible)

I remote started the car unlocked the doors and told him to get in I had to run inside to grab something I forgot. (It was .45 caliber)

So I get in the car and this guy starts to introduce himself "Hi Im Mike whats your name?" I said Mike and he went on for the next 5 mins about how that was cool and we were almost like brothers or might be related. Then he starts telling me how he just got out of Warm Springs (Our State Mental Hospital) and how hes trying to assimilate back into society but its hard because people judge him on his looks.

(BTW now that hes in the car, I am noticing a very strong odor of piss, body odor and cigarettes.......this is why I chose my wifes car and it had a smaller area for confrontation)

The guy is giving me directions and asking me all kinds of personal questions, where was I from, where do I work, do I have any kids etc and I responded with horrendous lies and misinformation. He then asks if I want to see one of the knifes he uses as a contractor, I told him not really and he pulls out this hunting knife and I pulled into a parking lot and told him to hand the knife over or he was going to suffer the consequences. He then says "wow, I was just showing you a knife dude you dont have to act like a freak".

I told him it was unacceptable to show up at my house at 2 am trying to come into my house shouting its an emergency and then basically pull a knife on me when in reality he was just drunk and needed a ride.

So I get the knife from him and end up getting him to his location.......which was a house in a industrial area down a long desolate alley when I pull up the house goes nuts with people running inside and looking out the windows.....very creepy. I tell him to get out and I throw his knife towards the house. He says he really appreciates the ride and will swing by my house tomorrow with some money to pay me back for the ride.

I told him if he ever shows up at my house again things wont turn out so good for him and I appreciated the offer but he didnt need to repay me for anything.



So what is the over/under on how many times this freak show shows up wanting rides in the middle of the night now that he knows I already did it once?

xnonono2x

ursus arctos horribilis
January 31st, 2012, 11:46 AM
He may but since you know where the tweaker pad is he may realize that just leaving you completely alone is the way to not cause problems with everyone else.

Seems odd to ask this considering the line of work but don't you have cams and so forth out the front door. If he does show up again just say "MIKE, I told you to accept my gratis and not show up here again. Now your making me think we don't have an understanding and if you ain't off my property pronto I'm coming out the front door with vengeance and you are gonna be the solo participant in a wet t shirt contest on my front lawn...now ****in' beat it!"

AppAlum2003
January 31st, 2012, 11:50 AM
ha! chattownmocs up to his old tricks! he's such a joker!

StorminASU
January 31st, 2012, 01:00 PM
ha! chattownmocs up to his old tricks! he's such a joker!

"He says 'the South side...of the beautiful mecca that is Chattanooga.'" I saw it Appalum2003. It was implied bc we should all recognize a story from the mecca land when we read it.

ALPHAGRIZ1
January 31st, 2012, 01:01 PM
I seriously wish I had not forgot my phone so I could post a picture of this freak.........you guys would **** if you saw how close he really looks to that picture.

Sent from my DROID BIONIC using Tapatalk

StorminASU
January 31st, 2012, 01:01 PM
Seems odd to ask this considering the line of work...

Reading this, plus AG1's signature raises the question, what is the line of work you're referring to?

ursus arctos horribilis
January 31st, 2012, 01:13 PM
Reading this, plus AG1's signature raises the question, what is the line of work you're referring to?

That was a slip on my part. I've already said too much.

TheRevSFA
January 31st, 2012, 01:17 PM
On a side note, AG1 I bought you a present. I hope you enjoy it and it makes your day much better.

http://products.advanced-online.com/SAM/mediumLarge/6-55-sh19tj.jpg

Apphole
January 31st, 2012, 01:40 PM
Its 2:17am and my doorbell rings 9 to 11 times in rapid succession my dog goes nuts barking and I go to the front door wondering who is going to get a very severe beating. My wife sister is already there with the door open and there is a guy who now has his arm in the door talking in a very loud voice that he "needs a ride its an emergency". This dude is about 6'2" maybe around 200-215lbs and I kid you not the first thing I thought of when I saw him was this guy. Seriously this dude at my door was 85% of this guy to the T.
http://www.lostvault.com/penpals/images/1510_1.jpg

I told him to get his arm out of my door and I would come outside to talk with him so I pushed him out and onto the front step, locked the door went and got a shirt, shoes and my keys.

I walked outside and saw this guy standing by my truck wearing a very long dark grey trench coat and standing quite aggressively. It reminded me of thishttp://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRXmIlbjOk5kfMdswxg-NEy9RG1lsmZT_h8O7lBx0yUzJAHxiWrnLPYJ_KKuw minus the hockey mask and machete. Still not something you want to deal with at 2am.

This guy goes off on me in either an alcohol or meth induced confluence of syllables about his moms car not working, his friend in the hospital and how he built the Boothill Inn hotel in the heights. (It took a very long time to finish that BTW) He needs a ride its an emergency so I ask him where.......he says "the south side" like I didnt see that coming. I told him I would take him there..........(mostly because I wanted this crazy ***** as far from my family as possible)

I remote started the car unlocked the doors and told him to get in I had to run inside to grab something I forgot. (It was .45 caliber)

So I get in the car and this guy starts to introduce himself "Hi Im Mike whats your name?" I said Mike and he went on for the next 5 mins about how that was cool and we were almost like brothers or might be related. Then he starts telling me how he just got out of Warm Springs (Our State Mental Hospital) and how hes trying to assimilate back into society but its hard because people judge him on his looks.

(BTW now that hes in the car, I am noticing a very strong odor of piss, body odor and cigarettes.......this is why I chose my wifes car and it had a smaller area for confrontation)

The guy is giving me directions and asking me all kinds of personal questions, where was I from, where do I work, do I have any kids etc and I responded with horrendous lies and misinformation. He then asks if I want to see one of the knifes he uses as a contractor, I told him not really and he pulls out this hunting knife and I pulled into a parking lot and told him to hand the knife over or he was going to suffer the consequences. He then says "wow, I was just showing you a knife dude you dont have to act like a freak".

I told him it was unacceptable to show up at my house at 2 am trying to come into my house shouting its an emergency and then basically pull a knife on me when in reality he was just drunk and needed a ride.

So I get the knife from him and end up getting him to his location.......which was a house in a industrial area down a long desolate alley when I pull up the house goes nuts with people running inside and looking out the windows.....very creepy. I tell him to get out and I throw his knife towards the house. He says he really appreciates the ride and will swing by my house tomorrow with some money to pay me back for the ride.

I told him if he ever shows up at my house again things wont turn out so good for him and I appreciated the offer but he didnt need to repay me for anything.



So what is the over/under on how many times this freak show shows up wanting rides in the middle of the night now that he knows I already did it once?

xnonono2x

Crazy story, but what stuck out to me was the bolded. Wife Sister? Either you forgot the 's or there is some serious incest going on.....
Who's the real wierdo here?
Anywho, I would NEVER open the door for some sketch ball like that. If he pushed the issue, he would be shot. Maybe it's a southern thing. (the shooting not the incest before you smart asses try)

ALPHAGRIZ1
January 31st, 2012, 01:44 PM
On a side note, AG1 I bought you a present. I hope you enjoy it and it makes your day much better.

http://products.advanced-online.com/SAM/mediumLarge/6-55-sh19tj.jpg

I already bought one of those.................if you need my address for shipping just ask Ursus hes good at giving out my info.

xcoffeex

ursus arctos horribilis
January 31st, 2012, 01:44 PM
Crazy story, but what stuck out to me was the bolded. Wife Sister? Either you forgot the 's or there is some serious incest going on.....
Who's the real wierdo here?
Anywho, I would NEVER open the door for some sketch ball like that. If he pushed the issue, he would be shot. Maybe it's a southern thing. (the shooting not the incest before you smart asses try)

You should see his sister.

ALPHAGRIZ1
January 31st, 2012, 01:44 PM
Reading this, plus AG1's signature raises the question, what is the line of work you're referring to?

Techy, security, A/V stuff....................................

TheRevSFA
January 31st, 2012, 01:45 PM
I already bought one of those.................if you need my address for shipping just ask Ursus hes good at giving out my info.

xcoffeex

I figured you bought an entire box and gave them out to everyone you knew.

ALPHAGRIZ1
January 31st, 2012, 01:45 PM
You should see his sister.

I will post a picture as soon as I roll off her............................................... ....

Sammy94
January 31st, 2012, 01:57 PM
I already bought one of those.................if you need my address for shipping just ask Ursus hes good at giving out my info.


I was wondering who bought the 2 that sold around here. I was busy buying a Big Sky Conference Champs by TKO shirt.

ALPHAGRIZ1
January 31st, 2012, 02:16 PM
SHSU fans not only are bigots and certifiable assbags but now I am finding out they are extremely selfish as well.

Its not enough for them to wreck every thread they post in with their bigotry and condescending attitude, its not enough for them to be embarrassed in a National Championship game on TV......now they just hijack every thread...even though all it does is put a microscope on their ****ty conference and their one year fluke season.

So sad..................................xcoffeex

PantherRob82
January 31st, 2012, 03:18 PM
Is SHSU REALLY selling National Runner-Up shirts? Can't say I have ever seen one of those...

TheRevSFA
January 31st, 2012, 03:24 PM
Is SHSU REALLY selling National Runner-Up shirts? Can't say I have ever seen one of those...

www.gobearkats.com has them. so..YEP

http://www.bearkatgear.com/bearkat_fans__championship_gear__football__SHSU_Fo otball_National_Runner_Up_Championship_Orange_T_Sh irt____6-55-sh10tj

BEAR
January 31st, 2012, 04:00 PM
Is this part 4 of the trilogy? xlolx

BEAR
January 31st, 2012, 04:02 PM
On a side note, AG1 I bought you a present. I hope you enjoy it and it makes your day much better.

http://products.advanced-online.com/SAM/mediumLarge/6-55-sh19tj.jpg

What was that Sam sig line?...."Second place is the first loser" xlolx

Grizo406
January 31st, 2012, 04:16 PM
You should see his sister.

When "pretty faces" were handed out in ALPHA's family, it's more than obvious who got one! She's very easy on the eyes!!

For the most part, at Griz tailgates, her eyes are mostly on me. True story.

PantherRob82
January 31st, 2012, 04:38 PM
www.gobearkats.com has them. so..YEP

http://www.bearkatgear.com/bearkat_fans__championship_gear__football__SHSU_Fo otball_National_Runner_Up_Championship_Orange_T_Sh irt____6-55-sh10tj

Seems kind of lame. Would be better served just selling championship shirts. I'd rather advertise we played in the game, rather than lost. :)

Sam_Kats
January 31st, 2012, 04:49 PM
Annie always makes me laugh. When I forget my phone, I always just use my regular camera............................................ ..wait, nevermind.

Cleets
January 31st, 2012, 10:01 PM
Annie always makes me laugh. When I forget my phone, I always just use my regular camera............................................ ..wait, nevermind.

One of the things you'll notice about Alpha-Stories is they don't stand up to much scrutiny, so try to just enjoy them as you might enjoy an "Urban Legend" like Big Foot or Area 51

ALPHAGRIZ1
February 1st, 2012, 11:01 AM
One of the things you'll notice about Alpha-Stories is they don't stand up to much scrutiny, so try to just enjoy them as you might enjoy an "Urban Legend" like Big Foot or Area 51

Oh....so sorry my true life stories dont excite you like the stories you have for all of us............................

Cleets: hey fellas, let me tell you, it was one seriously wild night at the old 1 bedroom last night...........had a glass of white zin last night around 7:30 that put me down on my futon about 7:45. I must have been in some serious REM sleep because I had a dream about shopping for towel racks at IKEA and get this I WAS THE ONLY ONE IN THE ENTIRE PLACE!!!!!!!! No janitor or nothing....................so of course I wandered down the linen isle and noticed immediately multiple wrinkles and a serious lack of folding fundamentals <-----Rolls eyes

Luckily I was in an IKEA..DUH!....so I immediately got an ironing board, iron, and some cayenne Indonesian starch (highly recommend this product). I also pulled out some stainless steel polish from my emergency kit I keep in my Prius, because the original sheen on a new iron just doesnt cut it. I apply the polish in a counterclockwise motion and then buff with fine steel wool for 7 to 9 minutes then follow it up with a polymer sealant that really works nicely on finer fabrics like satin and silk.

Anywho, after prepping, ironing and folding the entire linen display at IKEA I woke up in a panicked sweat.....not because it was a nightmare......but because the dream was over and I didnt have anything left to iron before work.


Yaw*****inYAWN..................................... .........

Cleets
February 1st, 2012, 11:14 AM
xlolx Okay, that's actually funny...
But Ikea makes JUNK - seriously the stuff is crap




I prefer B&B Italia myself xcoffeex

ALPHAGRIZ1
February 1st, 2012, 11:20 AM
xlolx Okay, that's actually funny...
But Ikea makes JUNK - seriously the stuff is crap


That was kinda the point.................and for the B&B Italia.............of course you do.

xcoffeex

TheRevSFA
February 1st, 2012, 11:23 AM
Seems kind of lame. Would be better served just selling championship shirts. I'd rather advertise we played in the game, rather than lost. :)

http://deadspin.com/5881289/you-can-now-own-an-fcs-national-runner+up-t+shirt

Cleets
February 1st, 2012, 11:46 AM
That was kinda the point.................and for the B&B Italia.............of course you do.

xcoffeex

Hey,
How's your Jet..?
Have you upped your security level in your hangar after your incident at Le Mansion - I mean you never know...
(I'd consider it, right after you get a phone with a camera in it)

ALPHAGRIZ1
February 1st, 2012, 11:47 AM
Second place is the only that school has ever had........................they better enjoy it.


xcoffeex

Sam_Kats
February 1st, 2012, 12:02 PM
I will say the only thing I enjoy about Annie's post are her Avatars. Well done, ma'am.

ALPHAGRIZ1
February 1st, 2012, 01:49 PM
Hey,
How's your Jet..?
Have you upped your security level in your hangar after your incident at Le Mansion - I mean you never know...
(I'd consider it, right after you get a phone with a camera in it)

Its not my jet its my friends.........but you already know that.

The very expensive Sony camcorder that was viciously attacked by the inbred, bigot, redneck SHSU fan has been replaced and you can view the results of the new camcorder later this evening on maroonblood.com. I will be streaming live the Griz recruiting show and will have pictures and videos up on the site later tonight or tomorrow.

Amateurs use cameras on phones when you want SHSU quality photography..............2nd rate

Sent from my DROID BIONIC using Tapatalk

Cleets
February 1st, 2012, 05:27 PM
Its not my jet its my friends.........but you already know that.


Riiiiight....
http://troll.me/images/thumbs-up-jesus-says/sure-thing-buddy.jpg

ALPHAGRIZ1
February 2nd, 2012, 06:18 AM
Buddy Jesus is jealous of me.........just like you.....................................xcoffeex

DJKyR0
February 2nd, 2012, 06:21 AM
Buddy Jesus is jealous of me.........just like you.....................................xcoffeex

What is Touchdown Jesus's opinion of you?

http://images.usatoday.com/news/_photos/2010/06/15/jesus-beforex.jpg

ALPHAGRIZ1
February 2nd, 2012, 06:55 AM
TJ parties with Jesus H and I all the time.


xcoffeex

ALPHAGRIZ1
February 9th, 2012, 05:13 PM
I was just in a convenience store in Billings and when I walked in I smelled the guy I gave a ride home to last week.......I looked around the store and sure enough he was there when I heard him talking to himself, I knew it was the same dude.

I know some of you guys think I was kidding about this or it was a joke well here you go........I am getting closer to finding out exactly where this dude lives and I will get a picture of his face.
http://a8.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/s320x320/425689_1883409982626_1762672495_967964_564600550_n .jpg

http://a5.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc7/s320x320/416914_1883408582591_1762672495_967963_686544737_n .jpg

ursus arctos horribilis
February 9th, 2012, 05:35 PM
I was just in a convenience store in Billings and when I walked in I smelled the guy I gave a ride home to last week.......I looked around the store and sure enough he was there when I heard him talking to himself, I knew it was the same dude.

I know some of you guys think I was kidding about this or it was a joke well here you go........I am getting closer to finding out exactly where this dude lives and I will get a picture of his face.
http://a8.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/s320x320/425689_1883409982626_1762672495_967964_564600550_n .jpg

http://a5.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc7/s320x320/416914_1883408582591_1762672495_967963_686544737_n .jpg

Good luck Inspector Clouseau this appears to be kind of case that can be a real career maker!

http://sprocketink.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/panther.jpg

ALPHAGRIZ1
February 9th, 2012, 05:39 PM
Has there ever been a recorded case of a night stalker banging on a door at 2am...........................getting stalked by the homeowner?

ursus arctos horribilis
February 9th, 2012, 05:44 PM
Has there ever been a recorded case of a night stalker banging on a door at 2am...........................getting stalked by the homeowner?

Recorded? No. Those are usually just attributed to vagrancy and the fella hitting the road for warmer climate. You want me to call my cousin with the Hog farm and tell him to expect a package soon?

ALPHAGRIZ1
February 9th, 2012, 05:46 PM
Do I

BEAR
February 9th, 2012, 06:09 PM
Has there ever been a recorded case of a night stalker banging on a door at 2am...........................getting stalked by the homeowner?

Man don't scare the dude..xlolx

By the way, your pic to the left..nice...she's wearing purple and gray. Yeah, I noticed. xlolx