Started by and contributed to by Alphagriz1, Highlinegriz, JMUPride, and Grizadam. Mods this isn't smack, I swear it's all true!
Anyone here know of anything else about Rodney we should know?
He was running to hail a cab and ended up at his destination faster than if the cab would have caught him.
Rodney Lander’s tears can cure cancer. Unfortunately, he never cries.
There is no such thing as tornadoes. Rodney Landers just really hates trailer parks.
Rodney Landers doesn’t do pushups… he pushes the world down.
Rodney Landers went to the Virgin Islands for Spring Break. They are now only referred to as the “Islands”
Baby Jesus used to wear Rodney Landers pajamas.
Rodney Landers is the real father of James Madison and proof read and edited the constitution before he would let him sign it. Because of Rodney we have the right to bear arms.
There are only 3 certainties in life: Death, Taxes, and Rodney Landers impregnating your wife.
Prediction: University of Rodney Landers (formerly known as James Madison U) 359 Griz -13. But Rodney Landers will be held under 850 yards rushing.
- Rodney Landers is the reason Waldo is hiding
- Rodney Landers is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
- There is no 'ctrl' button on Rodney Landers' computer. Rodney Landers is always in control.
- Once a grizzly bear threatened to eat Rodney Landers. Rodney showed the bear his fist and the bear proceeded to eat himself, because it would be the less painful way to die.
- Rodney Landers can touch MC Hammer
- If paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, what beats all 3 at the same time? Answer: Rodney Landers
- Although it is not common knowledge, there are actually three sides to the Force: the light side, the dark side, and Rodney Landers
- When you open a can of whoop-@, Rodney Landers jumps out
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Rodney Landers.
Rodney Landers doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Rodney Landers has allowed to live.
Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Rodney Landers.
Rodney Landers does not sleep. He waits.
Rodney Landers is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
Rodney Landers is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
Rodney Landers counted to infinity - twice.
There is no chin behind Rodney Landers’ beard. There is only another fist.
Rodney Landers is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
Rodney Landers’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
Rodney Landers can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.
Rodney Landers doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
Rodney Landers can slam a revolving door.
Rodney Landers does not get frostbite. Rodney Landers bites frost
Rodney Landers destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise
Rodney Landers uses pepper spray to spice up his steaks.
Rodney Landers once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.
Crop circles are Rodney Landers' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down.
Rodney Landers is ten feet tall, weighs two-tons, breathes fire, and could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing.
The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Rodney Landers out. It failed miserably.
Contrary to popular belief, Rodney Landers, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.
Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes. Rodney Landers has 72... and they're all poisonous.
If you ask Rodney Landers what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'til." After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
Rodney Landers drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.
When Rodney Landers sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Rodney Landers has not had to pay taxes, ever.
The quickest way to a man's heart is with Rodney Landers' fist.
Rodney Landers invented Kentucky Fried Chicken's famous secret recipe, with eleven herbs and spices. But nobody ever mentions the twelfth ingredient: Fear.
CNN was originally created as the "Rodney Landers Network" to update Americans with on-the-spot ass kicking in real-time.
Rodney Landers can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
Rodney Landers once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
What was going through the minds of all of Rodney Landers' victims before they died? His shoe.
Rodney Landers is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
Police label anyone attacking Rodney Landers as a Code 45-11.... a suicide.
Rodney Landers doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.
Rodney Landers doesn’t wash his clothes, he disembowels them.
A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Rodney Landers and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
Rodney Landers will attain statehood in 2009. His state flower will be the Magnolia.
If you spell Rodney Landers in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
When asked bout this "glitch," Landers replied, "That's no glitch."
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool Rodney Landers once and he will roundhouse you in the face.
The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodgeball Rodney Landers played in second grade.
Rodney Landers once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
Rodney Landers once bet NASA he could survive re-entry without a spacesuit. On July 19th, 1999, a naked Rodney Landers re-entered the earth's atmosphere, streaking over 14 states and reaching a temperature of 3000 degrees. An embarrassed NASA publically claimed it was a meteor, and still owes him a beer.
Rodney Landers has two speeds: Walk and Kill.
Someone once tried to tell Rodney Landers that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Rodney Landers once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.
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