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blukeys
July 25th, 2009, 10:44 AM
Of course one is from former FCS coach Lou Holtz. Erk Russell's is a classic.

http://bleacherreport.com/articles/58579-top-15-funniest-college-football-quotes

blukeys
July 25th, 2009, 10:46 AM
If folks have a favorite not listed feel free to pile on.

mtgrizfan4life
July 25th, 2009, 11:21 AM
I do not have any off the top my head, but do have a challenge for any GRIZ fan near Butte. Any links or notable quotes from Montana Tech coach Green. I hope someone can dig something up. I am sure all of AGS can appreciate this guy. (He is a character.)

SuperJon
July 25th, 2009, 11:34 AM
"When ya win, ya feel good. But when ya lose, it feels like someone shot ya dog." - David Bennett

"That boy's got a good momma." - David Bennett

BossEagle
July 25th, 2009, 11:38 AM
"Gentlemen, it is better to die a small boy than to fumble this football." -John Heisman

died when i read that

813Jag
July 25th, 2009, 11:38 AM
This quote is more infamous: "Somebody will get embarrased" Southern head coach Pete Richardson, before the 1999 Southern/FAMU game. That was the first and last time he tried to make a major statement before a game. He was right the Jags lost 65-18 and it wasn't even that close.

“Southern is cocky and arrogant. They’re going to mount up and take over our campus starting Thursday night.” ex-Alcorn coach Earnest Jones



“My understanding is, it’s always been a hostile situation when we get down there,” “A lot of people are not taking their families,” Jackson State coach Rick Comegy on going to Southern for the first time.

Hellgate60
July 25th, 2009, 11:59 AM
I do not have any off the top my head, but do have a challenge for any GRIZ fan near Butte. Any links or notable quotes from Montana Tech coach Green. I hope someone can dig something up. I am sure all of AGS can appreciate this guy. (He is a character.)

Here is a great youtube clip of him:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LikNOLkPc50

I'm proud to be an oredigger after watching this

Husky Alum
July 25th, 2009, 12:23 PM
Here's my favorite Northeastern football quote, uttered to every football recruit since 1956.


"Son, by the time you graduate we will be playing our games in a brand new on campus stadium."

T-Dog
July 25th, 2009, 12:40 PM
"You’re not going to go on the road and win the national championship."

“Their league’s not that good. Don’t put that down."

“I’m not going to say we should have won (the national championship in 2006 and 2007), but we should have played for it the last two years.”

“His injury last year cost us the national championship. You look at our games, if we had him playing, we would have won. The other running backs were thrust into a role they weren’t ready to assume. … He was the one guy we couldn’t afford to lose.”

"We've been rather frisky today."

Guess who said all that?

Also,

"They’re Appalachian State, Nike commercials and stuff.” - JMU player Hassan Abdul-Wahid

blukeys
July 25th, 2009, 01:19 PM
Wow you guys!!! This is great stuff. Keep 'em coming.

BossEagle
July 25th, 2009, 02:15 PM
"You’re not going to go on the road and win the national championship."

“Their league’s not that good. Don’t put that down."

“I’m not going to say we should have won (the national championship in 2006 and 2007), but we should have played for it the last two years.”

“His injury last year cost us the national championship. You look at our games, if we had him playing, we would have won. The other running backs were thrust into a role they weren’t ready to assume. … He was the one guy we couldn’t afford to lose.”

"We've been rather frisky today."

Guess who said all that?

Also,

"They’re Appalachian State, Nike commercials and stuff.” - JMU player Hassan Abdul-Wahid

IDK, WHO??xconfusedx

The bold is one, for some reason or another, i'll remember for a while

813Jag
July 25th, 2009, 02:17 PM
Here's my favorite Northeastern football quote, uttered to every football recruit since 1956.


"Son, by the time you graduate we will be playing our games in a brand new on campus stadium."
If you substitute field house for on campus stadium and you would have the same quote Southern coaches used. xlolx

mtgrizfan4life
July 25th, 2009, 02:38 PM
Here is a great youtube clip of him:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LikNOLkPc50

I'm proud to be an oredigger after watching this

CLASSIC xthumbsupx "Funnier than going to the bathroom on a pinecone toilet seat." Thank you, find anymore, please post them. I am in tears right now from that video.

SU DOG
July 25th, 2009, 03:19 PM
I have printed excerpts from the October 7, 1916 Georgia Tech vs Cumberland Game. The final: Georgia Tech 222 Cumberland 0. The Cumberland School of Law has been located for many decades at Samford University, of course.

The score at the half was Ga Tech - 126, Cumberland - 0.
The great Tech Coach, John W. Heisman strolled into the dressing room at the half, waved for silence, and said "You're doing all right team. We're ahead. But you just can't tell what those Cumberland players might have up their sleeves. They may spring a surprise. Be alert men! Hit 'em clean, but hit 'em hard." xlolx

In the second half, Tech QB George Griffin(later a Dean of Students at Tech), discovered a Cumberland Player wrapped in a blanket sitting at the end of the Tech bench. "Hey you," he called, "you're on the wrong bench!" "No, I'm not," answered the bruised and battered player. "I'm not going to be sent back into THIS game again." xlolx

In the fourth quarter, one of the Cumberland backs fumbled and the ball rolled toward Cumberland player "Bird" Paty. "Pick it up!" the fumbler shouted. Glancing toward the horde of Tech men thundering down on him, Paty yelled back "Pick it up yourself - you dropped it." xlolx

A.L. McDonald (later an attorney in Louisville KY) was a Cumberland halfback and team captain that day. "Our boys were so groggy that they never knew what to do. So I called them together now and then to figure out how best we might live through the game. Our huddle idea spread." xlolx

Heisman blew the whistle after the game and sent Tech back onto the field for a good half hour's hard scrimmage. xlolx

I have several pages of quotes, stories, and stats from this game that are(to me anyhow) absolutely hilarious.

Gil Dobie
July 25th, 2009, 03:21 PM
"You can't win games with Phi Beta Kappas." - Cornell Coach Gilmour Dobie

Aho_Old_Guy
July 25th, 2009, 05:39 PM
Steve Spurrier on Tennessee's frequent appearances in the Citrus Bowl in the mid 1990s: "You can't spell Citrus without U-T."

DFW HOYA
July 25th, 2009, 06:49 PM
The "medieval study hall" quote is more offten attributed to Vince Lombardi.

But another to add, from Yale coach T.A.D. Jones: "Gentlemen, you are about to play football against Harvard. Never again will you do anything so important."

psc2445
July 25th, 2009, 07:28 PM
Sorry to interject a quote from one of my high school assistant coaches but this quote is a classic

"Boys, there comes a time when you just load the damn bus and play football!!"

Aho_Old_Guy
July 25th, 2009, 08:08 PM
The "medieval study hall" quote is more offten attributed to Vince Lombardi.

But another to add, from Yale coach T.A.D. Jones: "Gentlemen, you are about to play football against Harvard. Never again will you do anything so important."

My fav comment about Lombardi came from Willie Davis.

During the civil rights movement he was asked if Coach Lombardi treated all his athletes the same, and he responded: "Yes. He treats us all like dogs."

AppStsGr8
July 25th, 2009, 08:10 PM
How bbout the one from Clemson D-line "The Fridge" Perry ... "I've been big ever since I was little."

GaSouthern
July 25th, 2009, 08:40 PM
Well let me just quote the late-great Colonel Sanders, "I'm too drunk to taste this chicken"

Sorry I don't have any football quotes other than Hatcher saying "You can't tackle Jayson Foster in a phone booth."

mtgrizfan4life
July 25th, 2009, 08:53 PM
After a lackluster 1st half in jc basketball game, the coach says. "Men stand up and and grab your asses!!"

"Now hand your asses to me."

Players looking at eachother dumbfounded.

Coach yells back "Men that is exactly what you did the 1st half of this game!!! You handed them your ass (the game). Now go back and get your asses!!!" (yes that team won in overtime, after being down 23 at the half.)

Cobblestone
July 25th, 2009, 09:04 PM
"I guess we had a letdown from last week" - Tim Stowers after losing to Maine.

BTW, the previous week that he is referring to? URI defeated a ranked UMASS team... letdown. xnonono2x

blukeys
July 25th, 2009, 10:03 PM
There was a Georgia Southern defensive coordinator who was famous for not taking pain or injury as an excuse. I don't remember his name. I think he was there for the Johnson years and I hope that some GSU folks will remember his name.

His quote when confronted with adversity was this " Don't complain about the pain. Just deliver the baby"

(Married guys do not try this one on your wives!!!!!!!!xsmiley_wixxsmiley_wixxsmiley_wix)

Ronbo
July 26th, 2009, 11:46 AM
Bob Green is the king of quotable interviews.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LikNOLkPc50

T-Dog
July 26th, 2009, 01:01 PM
IDK, WHO??xconfusedx

http://www.appfan.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2008/10/fatherofbeauty.jpg

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_i8YmC41u0qE/R6yKNKeEegI/AAAAAAAABk4/kx7zT1_hpE8/s400/MickeyMatthews.jpg

xnodx

"You’re not going to go on the road and win the national championship." Says the only coach who has done so.

P.S. The context was talking about going to App in the playoffs and having no hope of winning a title. I guess Richmond didn't listen to him.

“Their league’s not that good. Don’t put that down." About App St and the SoCon

“I’m not going to say we should have won (the national championship in 2006 and 2007), but we should have played for it the last two years.” Yeah, if they would have beaten YSU in 2006 and ASU in 2007 in the first round, the next two games would have been a walkover.

“His injury last year cost us the national championship. You look at our games, if we had him playing, we would have won. The other running backs were thrust into a role they weren’t ready to assume. … He was the one guy we couldn’t afford to lose.” About Eugene Holloman and how he wouldn't have fumbled the ball on the 10-yard line in 2007.

"We've been rather frisky today."

After practice days before the Montana semifinal last year. I guess frisky doesn't equal wins.


So basically, JMU in 2009 is going for an imaginary 3-peat.

93henfan
July 26th, 2009, 01:53 PM
"Never only lasts for so long." - Milford (DE) HS defensive back Devon Sivels after winning school's first ever state championship

grizband
July 26th, 2009, 02:27 PM
The mantra of the 2001 Montana national championship team:

"How do we eat an elephant, guys?

..."one bite at a time."

GOKATS
July 26th, 2009, 02:49 PM
Bob Green is the king of quotable interviews.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LikNOLkPc50

Post #7 of this thread..............................



Here is a great youtube clip of him:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LikNOLkPc50

I'm proud to be an oredigger after watching this
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

chantster
July 26th, 2009, 03:10 PM
Some of my favorites:

"Son, you've got a good engine, but your hands aren't on the steering wheel." Bobby Bowden / Florida State


"You can learn more character on the two-yard line than anywhere else in life." Paul Dietzel / LSU

"It's kind of hard to rally around a math class." Bear Bryant /Alabama

“There are two things every man in America thinks he can do: work a grill and coach football.” Greg Schiano

“There's nothing that cleanses your soul like getting the hell kicked out of you.“
Woody Hayes

seahawkfan2007
July 27th, 2009, 08:10 AM
"Winning is not the most important thing in life, but it's right up there with food and oxygen"-Lou Holtz

andy7171
July 27th, 2009, 08:55 AM
My personal favorite. After a very poor showing, John McKay responded to a question on how he felt about his teams exectution, "I'm all for it."

3rd Coast Tiger
July 27th, 2009, 09:21 AM
"They came down our throat all night."

Pete Richardson - Southern University

813Jag
July 27th, 2009, 09:53 AM
"They came down our throat all night."

Pete Richardson - Southern University
xlolxxlolxxlolx I remember that, ole Pete has a way with words.

GSUhooligan
July 27th, 2009, 10:08 AM
Here's some more great Erk Russell quotes:

"Attitude might be worth 80 percent of any athlete's makeup."

"The best way to win a game is not to lose it."

"I wouldn't allow them to put names on the back of our jerseys. We had to sell programs."

"Emotionally, our players are just as tough as theirs. It's more physical than anything. Their players are taller. We've both got 260-pound linemen. But the ones at Georgia are 6-5, while the ones at Georgia Southern are 5-10. ... We've got a bus that, conservatively speaking, has about five million miles on it," - On the differences between I-A and I-AA.



"I think most golfers would just about swap their front-row seat in hell for 30 more yards off the tee."

"The 1980 season at Georgia, I came out of the dormitory where we ate our pregame meal. I looked down and there was a dime on the ground. I picked it up, put it in my left shoe. I was wearing saddle Oxfords, which I did all the time anyway, and we beat Clemson that day, maybe it was the second or third game of the season. I taped the dime in my shoe so I wouldn't lose it, and made sure that I wore it throughout the season. We were 12-0 and won the national championship, and I'm sure the dime did it."

"I had an opportunity (to play) at Alabama. I told them that that was what I always wanted to do and that I was coming, and when I got back home an Auburn coach was sitting on my front porch, and he said, 'Come on, we're going to Auburn.' And I said, 'I just got back from Alabama, I told them I was gonna go to school there and that's what I want to do.' And he said, 'Well you've got to take a look at Auburn.' So I said, 'OK.' We drove to Auburn, he put on a change of clothes, picked up his bag and we went to Gulf Shores, Alabama, and fished for two days. When we got back, I said, 'I've always wanted to go to Auburn.'"

NU Hound29
July 27th, 2009, 10:56 AM
My personal favorite. After a very poor showing, John McKay responded to a question on how he felt about his teams execution, "I'm all for it."

One of my favorites...

andy7171
July 27th, 2009, 11:00 AM
One of my favorites...

BTW, your quote about the NU stadium got told to every Towson player between 1987 and 1998. I heard it personally in 1989. xlolxxlolxxlolx

mountaineertider
July 27th, 2009, 11:11 AM
Back when I played football in school we ran a triple-option type offense. I was playing QB and called a wishbone formation play (I can't remember the name) where I could either flip to the RB to my right as soon as I got the snap or run a little bit and lateral to the RB to my left who had run behind me. Well I decided on the second option but when I pitched I got hit from behind and the pitch got picked off. When I got to the sideline the coach said:

"McKinnon! When I say run the f****** option you don't have the option to throw it to the other f****** team!!!"

BDKJMU
July 27th, 2009, 11:56 AM
http://www.appfan.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2008/10/fatherofbeauty.jpg

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_i8YmC41u0qE/R6yKNKeEegI/AAAAAAAABk4/kx7zT1_hpE8/s400/MickeyMatthews.jpg

xnodx

"You’re not going to go on the road and win the national championship." Says the only coach who has done so.

P.S. The context was talking about going to App in the playoffs and having no hope of winning a title. I guess Richmond didn't listen to him.

The context was about winning 3 straight road games and then winning the NC. UR did not do that. They hosted EKU the 1st round. Matthews was correct on that. Its only happened once and its likely we'll never again see a team win the NC again after going on the road for 4 straight weeks.


“Their league’s not that good. Don’t put that down." About App St and the SoCon


You got a link for that quote? Because I can't find it in any of the pre or post ASU@JMU articles from last season in the Daily News Record or the JMU blog. Here's what I found:

"Quite frankly, if we don't beat them this game, they won't lose another game this season," Matthews said. "Look at their schedule. Who's going to beat them?"
http://www.dnronline.com/details.php?AID=31448&CHID=3
And Matthews was absolutely correct on that point as far as last season went. If he did say the other quote about ASU, it was in the context of no one else in the league was going to be good enough to knock of ASU. He has that much respect for ASU. He probably feels the same way about them this season.

GATA
July 27th, 2009, 12:18 PM
"If our community and Eagle Nation were better educated, they'd respect what's going on here and what's happening." - Brian VanGorder (2006).

"We've set this up for success. Good football people, knowledgeable football people would understand that," - Brian VanGorder (2006).

mebisonII
July 27th, 2009, 01:16 PM
"If our community and Eagle Nation were better educated, they'd respect what's going on here and what's happening." - Brian VanGorder (2006).

"We've set this up for success. Good football people, knowledgeable football people would understand that," - Brian VanGorder (2006).

You guys are going to put up a statue to your love for BVG, right? I mean, obviously he loved you all....

LBPop
July 27th, 2009, 01:19 PM
I think I heard this one first from Bill Cosby as he reflected on his football playing days at Temple. After his coach used the cliched routine that, "They put their pants on one leg at a time", Cosby replied, "Yeah Coach, but their pants are so much bigger than ours."

blukeys
July 27th, 2009, 01:23 PM
I think I heard this one first from Bill Cosby as he reflected on his football playing days at Temple. After his coach used the cliched routine that, "They put their pants on one leg at a time", Cosby replied, "Yeah Coach, but their pants are so much bigger than ours."

And when your game is being televised and you get hit in the gonads, You grab what?????

blukeys
July 27th, 2009, 01:27 PM
"If our community and Eagle Nation were better educated, they'd respect what's going on here and what's happening." - Brian VanGorder (2006).

"We've set this up for success. Good football people, knowledgeable football people would understand that," - Brian VanGorder (2006).

Those quotes shoucl be chiseled in granite somewhere in Statesboro.

CrackerRiley
July 27th, 2009, 01:36 PM
Here is a great youtube clip of him:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LikNOLkPc50

I'm proud to be an oredigger after watching this

"I was coaching when the Dead Sea was sick!" xlolxxlolxxlolx

Doc QB
July 27th, 2009, 03:50 PM
Had a defensive back coach at Lehigh who, every time a ball was batted upward in the secondary, would love to tell his defensive backs, "There are two things you DON'T knock up in life, and the other one is a football."

RichH2
July 27th, 2009, 05:17 PM
Doc Qb ,

I probably predate you by a few decades, pre-Dunlap. Our D coach used the same quote with a few other anatomical impossibilities to teach us what we should do when a ball came our way and what he would do to us if we failed to do so.

blukeys
July 27th, 2009, 06:22 PM
Had a defensive back coach at Lehigh who, every time a ball was batted upward in the secondary, would love to tell his defensive backs, "There are two things you DON'T knock up in life, and the other one is a football."

Classic!!!!

mlbowl
July 27th, 2009, 09:24 PM
"Lemme tell you what's happened ... Tim Tebow is now a unanimous selection. The coach who left him off has put him in."

"That was me." - Steve Spurrierxlolx

hippy@GSU
July 27th, 2009, 10:19 PM
"I'm gonna get outta here while I'm still alive... And I'm gonna say it just one more time. We're Georgia Southern. Our colors are blue and white, we call ourselves the bald eagles... we call our offense the Georgia Power Company and that's a terrific name for an offense... and our snap count is, "Rate-Hike." We practice on the beautiful banks of Eagle Creek... and that's in Statesboro, Georgia... the gnat capital of America. Our weekends begin on Thursday and the co-eds outnumber the men 3-2. And they're all pretty and they're all rich. And folks, you just can't beat that! And you just can't beat Georgia Southern! And you ain't seen nothing yet! Thanks y'all!" -Erk Russell (Informal retirement speech at Snooky's Restaurant in Statesboro.)

T-Dog
July 27th, 2009, 10:32 PM
You got a link for that quote? Because I can't find it in any of the pre or post ASU@JMU articles from last season in the Daily News Record or the JMU blog. Here's what I found:

http://www.dailynews-record.com/sports_details.php?AID=32263&CHID=3

blazrdog#1
July 28th, 2009, 12:11 AM
" Hindsight is 50-50" Pat Dye on the Paul Finebaum Radio Show

Gordon Shumway
July 28th, 2009, 07:20 AM
One of my all-time favorites from the generally annoying Lou Holtz.

When Arkansas fans pelted the field with oranges to celebrate the 1977 Orange Bowl berth, Holtz observed, “Thank God we didn’t get invited to the Gator Bowl.”

NU Hound29
July 28th, 2009, 09:11 AM
Steve Spurrier, Florida football coach, telling Gator fans that a fire at Auburn’s football dorm had destroyed 20 books: “But the real tragedy was that 15 hadn’t been colored yet.” (1991)

"The word genius isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."
-JOE THEISMANN, 1992

"Dude, I beat myself last year."
-Chris Cooley talking fantasy after his three-touchdown game against Dallas

FCS_pwns_FBS
July 28th, 2009, 11:39 AM
"Quite frankly, if we don't beat them this game, they won't lose another game this season," Matthews said. "Look at their schedule. Who's going to beat them?"
http://www.dnronline.com/details.php?AID=31448&CHID=3
And Matthews was absolutely correct on that point as far as last season went. If he did say the other quote about ASU, it was in the context of no one else in the league was going to be good enough to knock of ASU. He has that much respect for ASU. He probably feels the same way about them this season.

Technically, he was right that ASU won all of their games after JMU, but I think it was pretty clear that he meant that ASU would have smooth sailing through the rest of their schedule, which is laughable. Even though App. State gave a 46-point butt-kicking to the second-place SoCon team (who JMU squeaked by), they still had a larger average margin of victory in CAA games than App. did in SoCon games. Now I know someone will probably bring something up like "but the CAA has had 6 different teams make it to least the semi-finals in the last 10 years while the SoCon has had only 4!" but that's not relevant to 2008. If what he was saying had actual merit to it, it wouldn't bother me but I just don't see any actual logic to saying the SoCon has no balance to it.

OL FU
July 28th, 2009, 11:45 AM
"When ya win, ya feel good. But when ya lose, it feels like someone shot ya dog." - David Bennett

"That boy's got a good momma." - David Bennett

Was he an assistant for Danny Fordxlolx

All I remember Ford talking about was just how gooda youngsters he had on the team. Good bunch a youngstersxnodx

OL FU
July 28th, 2009, 11:50 AM
"If our community and Eagle Nation were better educated, they'd respect what's going on here and what's happening." - Brian VanGorder (2006).

"We've set this up for success. Good football people, knowledgeable football people would understand that," - Brian VanGorder (2006).

You know it is difficult to think about Erk Russell and VanGorder being mentioned in the same thread:(


Oh, everyone thinks Erk was great and VanGorder thinks Vangorder is great. xlolx