mountain_man
August 22nd, 2008, 10:16 AM
I love all things football. Christmas time don't even come close to football season. I think I have missed 3 high school games in 10 years, and not many more App games. Here is a little advice I got from another website.
A Wives Approach To the Beginning of the Football Season
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Please read this thoroughly and make sure you understand it before its to late.
If you haven't learned these yet, for the love of God, learn them now!
9 words or phrases women use during football season
(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up and forget about attending the game.
(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes will become two minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.(Refer to #1)
(4) Go Ahead: This is daring you to go to the game, this is not permission. Don't Do It!
(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about why you should visit her sister in the hospital rather than attend the game.
6) That’s Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for putting the game first.
(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' ... that will bring on a 'whatever').
(8) Whatever: Is a women's way of saying (her favorite expletive!) A “whatever” is usually a sharp cut where you have no clue you are bleeding until you are halfway to the game.
(9) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' At that point you will be forced to hear a detailed description of all that went wrong because you attended the game.
Nothing like going to a great game, and coming home to the good old # 9. "Little Billy puked all over the house", "The dog got into the trash and spread it all over the yard", "The toilet overflowed when Jane tried to give her Barbie doll a bath", etc.
It's here ladies and gents! Enjoy and have a safe time!
A Wives Approach To the Beginning of the Football Season
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Please read this thoroughly and make sure you understand it before its to late.
If you haven't learned these yet, for the love of God, learn them now!
9 words or phrases women use during football season
(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up and forget about attending the game.
(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes will become two minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.(Refer to #1)
(4) Go Ahead: This is daring you to go to the game, this is not permission. Don't Do It!
(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about why you should visit her sister in the hospital rather than attend the game.
6) That’s Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for putting the game first.
(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' ... that will bring on a 'whatever').
(8) Whatever: Is a women's way of saying (her favorite expletive!) A “whatever” is usually a sharp cut where you have no clue you are bleeding until you are halfway to the game.
(9) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' At that point you will be forced to hear a detailed description of all that went wrong because you attended the game.
Nothing like going to a great game, and coming home to the good old # 9. "Little Billy puked all over the house", "The dog got into the trash and spread it all over the yard", "The toilet overflowed when Jane tried to give her Barbie doll a bath", etc.
It's here ladies and gents! Enjoy and have a safe time!