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Grizzaholic
November 30th, 2011, 07:18 PM
The year is 2036 and the United States has just elected the first woman as President of the United States.

A few days after the election, the president-elect calls her father in Montana and asks, "So, Dad, I assume you will be coming to my inauguration?"
"I don't think so. It's a long drive; your mom isn't as young as she used to be, we'll have the dog with us, and my arthritis is acting up in my knee."
"Don't worry about it, Dad, I'll send Air Force One or another support aircraft to pick you up and take you home, and a limousine will pick you up at your door," she said.

"I don't know. Everybody will be so fancy. What would your mother wear?"
"Oh, Dad," she replied, "I'll make sure she has a wonderful gown custom-made by one of the best designers in New York."
"Honey," Dad complained, "You know we can't eat those rich foods you and your friends like to eat."
The President-elect responded, "Don't worry, Dad. The entire affair is going to be handled by the best caterer in D.C. and I'll ensure your meals are salt-free. Dad, I really want you to come."

So her parents reluctantly agreed, and on January 20, 2037, arrived to see their daughter sworn in as President of the United States.

The parents of the new President are seated in the front row. The President's dad notices a senator sitting next to him and leans over and whispers, "You see that woman over there with her hand on the Bible, becoming President of the United States?"
The Senator whispered in reply, "Yes I do."

Dad says proudly, "Her brother played football for the Griz."

AppMAN04
November 30th, 2011, 07:52 PM
NICE!

344Johnson
November 30th, 2011, 08:51 PM
LOL that is really really funny....wasn't really sure where it was going...them BAM

Cocky
November 30th, 2011, 09:27 PM
Dad must have originally been from the South.

DJKyR0
November 30th, 2011, 10:40 PM
A number of Griz are enjoying a bar in Missoula when suddenly a man in a straw cowboy hat walks in carrying a bottle of beer in one hand and a live alligator in the other. The Griz fans all eye him cautiously because hey, live alligator. The man sets the alligator down and says loudly, "Who here wants to bet me $100 I can put my junk in this alligator's mouth and be unharmed?"

Well, all the Griz fans exchange glances and a few take him up on it - I mean, who could put his junk into the mouth of a freaking alligator and have nothing happen?

Well, the man collects the cash and then undoes his pants, setting his junk directly on the tongue of the alligator, whereupon the 'gator chomps down, hard. The entire bar gasps in shock while the man in the cowboy hat just laughs, swigs his beer, then smacks the alligator on the head with it. The alligator obligingly opens its mouth and to the amazement of the Griz fans in the room, his equipment is completely unscathed.

The man pulls his pants back up and waves around his winnings, saying "Alright, I'll give this entire wad of cash to anyone with enough balls to try it."

Alphagriz immediately hops off his barstool and gets on his knees in front of the man, saying "I'll try it, just don't hit me on the head with a bottle."

xthumbsupx :D

Dallas Demon
November 30th, 2011, 11:43 PM
A number of Griz are enjoying a bar in Missoula when suddenly a man in a straw cowboy hat walks in carrying a bottle of beer in one hand and a live alligator in the other. The Griz fans all eye him cautiously because hey, live alligator. The man sets the alligator down and says loudly, "Who here wants to bet me $100 I can put my junk in this alligator's mouth and be unharmed?"

Well, all the Griz fans exchange glances and a few take him up on it - I mean, who could put his junk into the mouth of a freaking alligator and have nothing happen?

Well, the man collects the cash and then undoes his pants, setting his junk directly on the tongue of the alligator, whereupon the 'gator chomps down, hard. The entire bar gasps in shock while the man in the cowboy hat just laughs, swigs his beer, then smacks the alligator on the head with it. The alligator obligingly opens its mouth and to the amazement of the Griz fans in the room, his equipment is completely unscathed.

The man pulls his pants back up and waves around his winnings, saying "Alright, I'll give this entire wad of cash to anyone with enough balls to try it."

Alphagriz immediately hops off his barstool and gets on his knees in front of the man, saying "I'll try it, just don't hit me on the head with a bottle."

xthumbsupx :D

xlolx

Grizzaholic
November 30th, 2011, 11:50 PM
xlolx

An old retread with different names.

DJKyR0
December 1st, 2011, 12:15 AM
An old retread with different names.

Very much so.

Grizzaholic
December 1st, 2011, 01:11 AM
Very much so.

Does Hell freeze over now that a Griz fan and a NDSU fan agree on something?


AZ can we get a ruling?

ALPHAGRIZ1
December 1st, 2011, 03:31 AM
A number of Griz are enjoying a bar in Missoula when suddenly a man in a straw cowboy hat walks in carrying a bottle of beer in one hand and a live alligator in the other. The Griz fans all eye him cautiously because hey, live alligator. The man sets the alligator down and says loudly, "Who here wants to bet me $100 I can put my junk in this alligator's mouth and be unharmed?"

Well, all the Griz fans exchange glances and a few take him up on it - I mean, who could put his junk into the mouth of a freaking alligator and have nothing happen?

Well, the man collects the cash and then undoes his pants, setting his junk directly on the tongue of the alligator, whereupon the 'gator chomps down, hard. The entire bar gasps in shock while the man in the cowboy hat just laughs, swigs his beer, then smacks the alligator on the head with it. The alligator obligingly opens its mouth and to the amazement of the Griz fans in the room, his equipment is completely unscathed.

The man pulls his pants back up and waves around his winnings, saying "Alright, I'll give this entire wad of cash to anyone with enough balls to try it."

Alphagriz immediately hops off his barstool and gets on his knees in front of the man, saying "I'll try it, just don't hit me on the head with a bottle."

xthumbsupx :D

Go Bulldogs!


xtroublex

Twentysix
December 1st, 2011, 10:43 AM
The year is 2036 and the United States has just elected the first woman as President of the United States.

A few days after the election, the president-elect calls her father in Montana and asks, "So, Dad, I assume you will be coming to my inauguration?"
"I don't think so. It's a long drive; your mom isn't as young as she used to be, we'll have the dog with us, and my arthritis is acting up in my knee."
"Don't worry about it, Dad, I'll send Air Force One or another support aircraft to pick you up and take you home, and a limousine will pick you up at your door," she said.

"I don't know. Everybody will be so fancy. What would your mother wear?"
"Oh, Dad," she replied, "I'll make sure she has a wonderful gown custom-made by one of the best designers in New York."
"Honey," Dad complained, "You know we can't eat those rich foods you and your friends like to eat."
The President-elect responded, "Don't worry, Dad. The entire affair is going to be handled by the best caterer in D.C. and I'll ensure your meals are salt-free. Dad, I really want you to come."

So her parents reluctantly agreed, and on January 20, 2037, arrived to see their daughter sworn in as President of the United States.

The parents of the new President are seated in the front row. The President's dad notices a senator sitting next to him and leans over and whispers, "You see that woman over there with her hand on the Bible, becoming President of the United States?"
The Senator whispered in reply, "Yes I do."

Dad says proudly, "Her brother played football for the Griz."

You sly ****

Grizzaholic
December 1st, 2011, 11:15 AM
You sly ****

Sly what? spell it out. f-u.c-k?

Twentysix
December 1st, 2011, 11:35 AM
You will never know. Maybe I just typed asterisks.

Sam_Kats
December 1st, 2011, 11:37 AM
Well played, Grizzaholic! Very nice...

Grizzaholic
December 1st, 2011, 01:27 PM
You will never know. Maybe I just typed asterisks.

Well asterisk you too.

Grizo406
December 1st, 2011, 08:01 PM
The year is 2036 and the United States has just elected the first woman as President of the United States.

A few days after the election, the president-elect calls her father in Montana and asks, "So, Dad, I assume you will be coming to my inauguration?"
"I don't think so. It's a long drive; your mom isn't as young as she used to be, we'll have the dog with us, and my arthritis is acting up in my knee."
"Don't worry about it, Dad, I'll send Air Force One or another support aircraft to pick you up and take you home, and a limousine will pick you up at your door," she said.

"I don't know. Everybody will be so fancy. What would your mother wear?"
"Oh, Dad," she replied, "I'll make sure she has a wonderful gown custom-made by one of the best designers in New York."
"Honey," Dad complained, "You know we can't eat those rich foods you and your friends like to eat."
The President-elect responded, "Don't worry, Dad. The entire affair is going to be handled by the best caterer in D.C. and I'll ensure your meals are salt-free. Dad, I really want you to come."

So her parents reluctantly agreed, and on January 20, 2037, arrived to see their daughter sworn in as President of the United States.

The parents of the new President are seated in the front row. The President's dad notices a senator sitting next to him and leans over and whispers, "You see that woman over there with her hand on the Bible, becoming President of the United States?"
The Senator whispered in reply, "Yes I do."

Dad says proudly, "Her brother played football for the Griz."


Honestly, that's the first time I've heard that joke!

I know funny, and that was certainly it!

Good job, Grizza!xnodx

ursus arctos horribilis
December 2nd, 2011, 11:58 AM
Honestly, that's the first time I've heard that joke!

I know funny, and that was certainly it!

Good job, Grizza!xnodx

Agreed, that was pretty good.

ASUMountaineer
December 2nd, 2011, 12:32 PM
An old retread with different names.

Still a good one though.